on friendship

my closest (and almost considered as best friend) is back from states today with loads of amazing and kilig stories. how i felt so relieved and elated when i saw her at work this morning.

*sigh*

i feel whole again.

=)

warning: too much cheese (hold your breath)

i woke up this morning feeling the intense rush of happiness from falling in love. in fact, ever since he became that one added part in my life, everything started falling into place. true, we hit a rough patch but life has been so wonderful and breezy and grounded lately. i know we're going to make this work no matter what.

you and i fit perfectly together. i love you more and more everyday Mark. =)

today

there's a recurring thought in my head that's been running restlessly for a few weeks now only that i couldn't quite grasp what exactly it's trying to tell me. it's like a growing impatience of wanting to retire from the corporate madness I've come to grow tired of after almost 10 months of toiling without a certain resolution in mind. there's something about constant change that continues to haunt me, no matter what time, wherever I am at and whatever I may be doing - a feeling of wanting to move on surges up inside me and for a second, I find myself momentarily paralyze.

on some days like today, I try so hard to understand everything that's happening to me - images with fleeting value constantly play in my head - and figure out what I really am now.

true friends :-)

for our 5 *gasp* years of friendship!

back from the dead

I’ve been meaning to write about the GAZILLION things happening in my life right now but somehow, I always end up brain dead from work. WORK WORK WORK. Who knew I’d become one of those corporate stiff who’ve got nothing in mind but capitalist profit making schemes. Well okay, not really!

So Lenten Season passed by just like that… when I was a kid, my family and I would spend the Holy Week in Naga going to the Church almost thrice a day for 5 days in a row. I, being the stubborn, rebellious middle child, would squirm at the thought of waking up at friggin 3am just to catch the Salubong at dawn of Easter Sunday. But after every Church activity, I would be high on Jesus and I tell you, nothing beats that kind of happiness and fulfillment – not even retail, spa or Starbucks therapy could come close to that fuzzy feeling of spiritual highness. This holy week, however, I never got to that freaky-intense-yet-lovely highness point of being a Catholic, which I kind of regret. I wish I could have been more active in Church gatherings but I was always sleepy and high on something else – not on drugs, mind you. Explaining what I was high on would require a new entry altogether – just because.

WTF, I think this week will be a major challenge as I am on a see-saw of emotional PMS-ing again. Aside from that, I feel so sluggish and unfulfilled lately. I wish I could do more at work – life feels so constricting sometimes. I need some change. I need growth. Why is that so hard to achieve?

After reading that horrifying, scary expose last night, I felt like my happy bubble suddenly popped out. All the positive energy vibe I’ve been clinging on to was taken away, as if a sudden wave of nostalgia has swept over me and I’m on the brink of being at my lowest low again. Oh God forbid.

Last night, I slept beside my mom because she will leave this afternoon for Naga. I felt like a vulnerable 10 year old kid all over again. Of course this was inevitably followed by an overwhelming remorse. Sigh. So much to do set my heart right.

********

i never thought i'd be this mushy and cheesy but whatever, this time i really don't care. my heart feels so heavy rightthisverysecond because we haven't seen each other for a week (gross, i know). i'm just SIGH SIGH SIGH. earlier tonight though, i got a bit a excited because he sent a text message saying he'd come over after his practice. sadly, he still had to fix some things for tomorrow. oh well, i'll see him tomorrow night anyway. i'll just bury my head in a book and engross myself in another world.

sama si M! :)

love you girls! it's only now that i got to check my blog. hehehe.

when are you girls free? L and M, have you guys started working already?

who's free this weekend?

ayos noh, ginawang message board ang blog. hahahah.

hugs to everyone!!! :)

oh, my poor fragile heart!

i promise to take good care of you this year. i'm letting you rest and recuperate for a while. who needs anyone, anyway.

on a cheerful note, last night was fucking fun, E and A! let's do that again and bring S and L! love you guys :)